Being ‘Parents in Love’ takes time and effort – But it’s worth it.

Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day! And if you know me, you know how much I love February - because, well, it’s my birth month! And again, if you know me, you know just how much I love my birthday (lol). But over the last few years, I’ve also come to enjoy Valentine’s Day.

Now, I get it - people have mixed feelings about this day. Some say it’s too commercial, others argue that love should be celebrated every day (which is true). But honestly, I can’t be mad at a day that reminds us to be intentional about love. It doesn’t take away from celebrating love daily, but there’s something special about the atmosphere of the occasion. And seriously, why are you mad at it? (lol)

So, anyway, this Valentine’s Day, I found myself reflecting on love, relationships, and how parenting changes everything—including how we see our partners.

When Was the Last Time You Saw Each Other… As Just You?

Becoming a parent shifts your entire world - how you see yourself, how you see your partner, and how you function as a couple. And in many ways, that’s expected. Life isn’t just about you anymore.

But pause for a moment.

·       When was the last time you saw yourself as you, outside of being a parent?

·       When was the last time you looked at your partner - not just as "Mummy" or "Daddy” - but as the person you once couldn’t get enough of?

Your kids know you love them (I really hope they do!), but do they know who you are to each other?

·       Do they know that while you're their people you're also each other's person?

·       Do they know that you’re best friends? (Are you?) That you like each other?

Because the truth is, kids see everything. Numerous studies have shown that children who witness love and respect between their parents grow up with a healthier understanding of relationships. 

Modelling Love for Your Children

It warms my heart to think that our girls see and feel the love in our home - not just for them, but between us as their parents.

They love it when we hug, and sometimes, they even invite us to hug each other (which is beyond adorable lol). The other day, on my birthday, we sang Happy Birthday with the family, cut my cake, and then kissed the kids goodnight before heading out to hang out 😁. So I guess Wila saw that we were all dressed up and, asked, “Wow, you’re going on a date?”

She was for some reason really excited lol, and it made me pause a bit to realize it actually does mean something to them when we prioritize each other. Even though they're still young, they can already draw joy from our setting time to be together. But then again as is the case of many a volatile toddler, they will cry to follow next time lol.

I really believe though, that our children thrive when they see us in love. They learn what healthy affection looks like. They learn from us that relationships take care, respect, and fun too!

Love Takes Effort - But It’s Worth It 

Now, let’s be honest - adulting is hard. Relationships are even harder. And navigating marriage with little children? Whew! That’s a whole new level of work. But this Valentine’s Day, I’m reminding myself, and all of you, dear mummies and daddies - to pause.

Be intentional. Schedule it if you must.

Make time to nurture your relationship, just the two of you, whatever that looks like for you. Because at the end of the day, love isn’t just about grand gestures - it’s about the small, everyday moments that remind you why you chose each other in the first place.

So, here’s to being parents in love. It is worth it - for you and for your children. Happy Valentine’s Day!